to eHarmony or not to eHarmony - that is the question!

On or about September 17, 2011 I gave up on finding Mr. Right on my own.  I opened myself up to the mysteries and opportunities of online dating.  On the 30th of September I joined eHarmony.  Here's my eHarmony Diary of what's happened so far:

9/30/11 Okay so ... I joined eHarmony (b/c it was super cheap) and I have to tell you... there are some *odd* looking men in the world and they *all* signed up for eHarmony. I know... I know... I'm no Angelina Jolie or whatev (hehehe) but C'MON! Where are the "normal" men?  There are no more alpha males in the world. I'm destined to be alone until 12/21/12 (b/c that's the end of the world!) ;)
(When asked what I was seeing on eHarm) -- So far it's just their photos that are making me go.... oooooooohhhh...noooooooooo... Then I think - who am I to be so picky. Then I look again and think... uhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooo. Guess that makes me a shallow person. Good thing I'm ok with that.

10/1/11 my eHarmony matches today... a 50 year old man in overalls (seriously) and a 5"3' man with one picture of himself and THREE pictures of his mother! I'm not joking.
Before you say my limitations are too stringent, I asked for four things: #1 non smoker, #2 no kids, #3 within 100 miles from Dallas. #4 my age request was 35 to 45. (it's the "no kids" thing that's killing me, I know)

10/6/11 HEY! No new matches eHarmony. You suck, eHarmony! Where's my match? Are you saying there's no one like me on Earth?!?!
(when told who my perfect man was...)That's true. Steve Jobs was the one. :::sigh:::

10/8/11   Out of today's 7 "matches" (which is a MASSIVE amount for eHarmony!) - three are 50 years old; six are from Colorado (yes, only ONE in TX), and hey... maybe I need to move to Colorado? :) They have nicer looking men in CO! Yeah, moving there ain't gonna happen. Soooooooo the search continues. (don't tell me I'll find "him" when I'm not looking b/c I haven't been looking for years!)

10/9/11  eHarmony Diary: received 7 matches - 0 who are in TX - 1 from Colorado who is very handsome and a physician. That settles it. I'm moving to Colorado!

10/16/11  eHarmony Diary: Today I sent smiles to over 15 "matches" - yes, even those with children AND men not living in Texas. I bet you are anxiously awaiting the results!  Well, mathmatically speaking (and you know I rarely do Math!) I've sent 7 smiles previous to today's *smile blitzkrieg* and only received one return smile. When I emailed that person an "icebereaker"  I did not receive anything in return.


10/17/11  results of my smile-a-thon = 5 gentlemen "looked" at my profile. However, no responses. Yep, this is money well spent!

10/18/11  I received 7 new matches today. ONE of the 7 is in Dallas. The others are located at least 6 to 15 hours away.  Three of the 7 are 48 years old or OLDER!  One stated his best attribute was "I still have all my teeth." Oh yeah... I'm not kidding.  Three of the 7 do not even have pictures.  And still no responses from the "smiles" I sent two days ago.

10/20/11  There is no new activity on my eHarmony account. Repeat: No New Activity. That is all.

10/21/11  Today's winner is a faceless (no photo) gentleman whose occupation is "cabintry" and when asked about his leisure time, replied: "I like exercising know matter the exercise is."  Huh?

10/25/11 Today's winning profile -- "The three things which I am most thankful for: •my son and grandson"  I did not keep reading...

10/27/11  You know those survivalists that live in a compound in the middle of nowhere? I think I was matched up with one of them today. Let's see - should I send a smile or not? Decisions...decisions...

10/29/11   You know those eHarmony commercials that play every five minutes on tv?  No?  Maybe it's just me noticing how often they're played.  Well, this one --  "Maybe by the time this commercial is on I won't be single anymore." -- made me think, don't count on it, bud.

11/2/11  eHarmony Depression has set in. I checked on all those Smiles I sent to others. Most have "viewed" my profile without responding. Some have even "closed" the match. Ooooooh the rejection!  No, I'm not looking for any "don't worry" and "plenty of fish" or "he's out there" responses. Please, let me wallow in my misery.

11/5/11  Dear eHarmony, I'm getting bored here. More victims...er... "matches" please.

11/5/11  So as you can see, I bounce back quickly.  As you can also see, eHarmony isn't really doing the trick.  As you can also also see see... there isn't anyone out there willing to take me on!  LOL

I'm going to keep up my eHarmony diary for another month.  Then I'll re-evaluate my life.  Or re-evaluate eHarmony... whichever comes first.

This is me (from one of them there status thingies):  I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm ME. I eat food, have curves, love my PJ's, and I go without make up (sometimes). I'm random and crazy.  I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, You can love me or not - I won't change!!! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart.